I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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