Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
