kristin has been a bad kristin
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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