My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize