Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
MIDGETS
????
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
