i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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