why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
