Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
