He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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