Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
