The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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