Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize