The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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