If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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