didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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