I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
