I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
