I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
