I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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