Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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