What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
