1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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