If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize