just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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