i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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