At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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