She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
