There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
