He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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