Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
