I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
