i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
