operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I still have a little drunk in my system
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
