How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
