Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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