I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
