i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
