i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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