I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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