Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize