Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
