Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I didn't notice because vodka
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
