but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize