I smell stomach acid.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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