a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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