I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
