I CAN MOONWALK!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Randomize
