so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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