I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
