I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Randomize
