I looked at my own cervix.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
