at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
