no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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