Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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