The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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