we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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