C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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