Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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