Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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