Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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